By: Heather Vacca
In a world where personal identity and faith intersect in complex ways, stories of courage, resilience, and self-discovery shine bright. ‘Hineni,’ the latest documentary from filmmaker Dar Dowling, beautifully encapsulates one such journey. Through the lens of Moshe Browning, a transgender man converting to Conservative Judaism, Dowling invites viewers into a deeply personal exploration of identity, spirituality, and community.
As the director behind this groundbreaking film, Dar Dowling navigates the delicate balance of storytelling with grace and empathy. With ‘Hineni,’ Dowling delves into the intricacies of Moshe’s transformation, offering viewers a glimpse into the challenges and triumphs of his journey.
In an exclusive interview, we sit down with Dar Dowling to uncover the inspiration behind ‘Hineni,’ the intricacies of storytelling, and the significance of Moshe Browning’s narrative in today’s cultural landscape. Join us as we embark on a journey of discovery, empathy, and profound human connection.
What inspired you to create your latest documentary, ‘Hineni,’ which explores Moshe’s journey of conversion to Conservative Judaism?
When I learned that Moshe was converting to Conservative Judaism, his spiritual passion and conviction were inspiring and intriguing. I felt compelled to delve deeper into his story and share it with the world. I was thrilled that he was willing to share this process with me because being the subject of a documentary requires a deep level of vulnerability. His willingness to participate showed a high level of trust in me, as well as bravery.
In ‘Hineni,’ the rabbis and Moshe worked together to navigate uncharted territory when it came to the conversion process, exploring the intersection of transgender identity and Judaism. Witnessing and capturing that story authentically and in a way I could share with others, was challenging and exciting. In many ways, the messages of inclusiveness, coming together, and listening to each other portrayed in this film are particularly needed now.
What does ‘Hineni’ mean, and why did you choose it as the title for this film?
‘Hineni’ means “Here I am” in Hebrew, but it also serves as the name of a prayer symbolizing preparation and humility. In many ways, this captures the essence of the film and illustrates why I found it to be the perfect title. “Here I am” reflects what Moshe, as a transman and a Jew, is doing – fully embracing and owning his identity on every level before the community, the world, and, yes, God.
Is there one scene in the film that you found the most poignant or resonates with you the most?
That is a difficult question but there are a couple of scenes that I would like to share with you. One of them is when I ask Moshe about his experience of coming out to the congregation of his synagogue as transgender, only to discover that he hasn’t done so yet. When he explains why he hasn’t and what he is afraid will happen when he does, the reasons aren’t what you might expect. You will have to watch the film to find out, but I will say that the intimacy and authenticity of that moment deeply touched my heart.
Another scene that stands out to me is at the end, after his Mikvah bath, the ritual immersion that marks his conversion to Judaism. The sheer joy he expresses during the closing rituals is exhilarating and heartwarming. We chose an image from this moment for the poster because it perfectly captures the essence of Moshe’s journey.
You mentioned that this film took you eight years to complete. Can you share some insights into the making of this film and the challenges you faced in bringing this story to light?
Yes, it took us eight years to tell this story, which has many layers—addressing emotional, spiritual, and real-world issues. Looking back, I’m grateful we didn’t rush the process. Instead, we took the time to develop it properly, sitting with the emerging stories, allowing them to breathe, and then weaving them together as authentically as possible.
Making a film like this requires a community. It’s a collaboration of the people in front of the camera and behind the scenes. The support from those involved, including Moshe, the rabbis, and our amazing editor, Ricardo Madan, was integral to bringing this important story to the world.
You can learn more about ‘Hineni’ and Dar Dowling on her website.
Published By: Aize Perez
